2008 a year in review....

As I reflect back on 2008 there is so much to remember...good and bad, happy and sad.

One year ago today was when T and I had the conversation that has lead us to current day.....expecting a baby. T and I made a decision to start a family. It wasn't a hard as I thought it may be (I really had no idea if I could even get pregnant, being on birth control for nearly 15 years could easily take a toll on your reproductive system) but we didn't face any issues actually getting pregnant. Remaining pregnant was another story, we did have a difficult time in the beginning. I lost our first pregnancy very early on, however I am a firm believer that it was not because of anything I did or didn't do and there clearly was a reason to lose that baby. I was again very fortunate to get pregnant very quickly (within 5 weeks) with this baby. We knew the reality of the risks and decided to keep it quiet, heck we didn't even tell anyone we were trying. But in the end, here we are, with approx 30 more days before our baby is to be born, no longer safe inside of me where it is protected from the world.


We completed a lot of work on our house. Really making every room completed so that in 2009 we can begin working on the outside!

We traveled a little, making our first trip to Canada and visiting one of the 7 wonders of the world, Niagara Falls.

I went to NYC a couple of times.

We had a litter of baby kittens and a momma living in our back yard for a while...(I think one of them may actually be living under the shed again).

We elected a new President.

Our Frog died.

The company I work for laid off hundreds of employees, my job being at risk in early 2009 AND our stock dropped to under $5 a share for several days.


I lost people that were important to me. First was my beloved Grandmother. She had suffered for so long with Parkinson's disease and all of the ailments that came along with having that horrible disease. To watch her die was very difficult, but at the same time, I knew she was finally going to be in a peaceful place, with no more pain, no more wheel chairs, no more convalescent home...My dear Grandmother. When she died I was pregnant with the baby we lost. I knew I was pregnant at the time and I struggled with telling her. In the end I chose not to, out of fear she would hang onto life because of it.


Mid way through the year we lost Orly..funny how the people you work with have such an impact on your daily life. What a wonderful guy, full of life and happiness and love for his family. You never saw a man glow the way he did when he spoke of his wife and daughter, he loved them so fully. He had a big heart, a full heart, a sick heart..I think of him frequently, little things that happen, a smell, a noise...


There were other losses as well. People I was not so close to, yet it still had impacts on me. People I grew up with, knew from my childhood, hadn't seen in a long time.

My life has changed so much this past year. I have new focus, different focus. I hope that you have found things in 2008 to be rewarding and are looking forward to 2009!

Happy New Year all~~

35 Weeks...

Just a belly pic update..you've already read all my whining...

A little better...

Sometimes all you need is a hot bath and a vicodin to make everything better...

Nesting? Or just plain Hungry?

My plan of action today was to make a couple of meals that I could freeze for when I come home with the new baby. I had hoped to get through at least 2 meals today, Stuffed peppers and Eggplant Parm...well I made it through 1, the peppers.

My back is hurting so terribly bad today. It feels like menstrual cramps. Just aches to move, never mind stand around cooking. I just took a few tylenol to see if they help, if not the vicodin are getting tapped. In the mean time I figured I would post a few pics of my peppers in progress for you....

Boil the peppers in one pot and saute the onions, peppers and garlic in another...

...add the pork and turkey meat to the sauteed peppers, onion and garlic.....

....once browned add the rice.....

...and the crushed tomatoes and spices..........

.........either stuff the peppers whole or in half (when freezing I always cut the peppers in half, but when cooking for that day I leave them whole).......

Waa Laa...stuffed peppers! There is also a sauce that I make to pour over the peppers..but didn't make it in advance. It is real simple, crushed tom, veg oil, onion and garlic.. (The above made 4 of these containers for freezing!)

This past week all I can think about is food. I am hungry 24/7. I frigin ate an entire pizza on Tuesday night!! (I do not do that normally.) And when I woke up Wed I was starving again.

I am hoping my back feels better soon, I would really like to get the eggplant done today...

Couple more rug pics...

Here are a few pics of some of the other rugs we have in our house that T's Mom made....

This used to be my favorite one...still a very close second though. We have this one in front of the fire place.

The rest are all in the baby's room on the floor..in front crib, changing table, closet opening, etc...

Ahhh...the day after...

...I love Christmas. Next to Thanksgiving it is my favorite Holiday. I am still that little girl that wakes up at 5am and 6 am and 7am...wanting (needing) to open presents. T will not budge until 9am at the earliest (oh is that about to change in the next couple years) so I usually force myself to lay in bed for a little while but just get too antsy and wind up going to the living room to wait and wait and wait.

This year was a little different. There was no one item that I asked for that I "really" wanted so bad that it kept me awake at night. Additionally this year I had a little help from Ambien to sleep straight until 8am.

T and I had a nice small Christmas this year. Really working hard at being careful with our finances, we only got each other a couple small items. I got him a new Bathrobe, slippers, some shirts, Tom Petty documentary and an Infant Life Jacket. He got me some slipper socks (needed for my Hospital stay), a couple of CD's (Lucinda Williams and Kathleen Edwards), new calendar, gift card to Sears (for nite gowns-also needed for hospital) and the Sex and the City movie (extended version!).

After opening gifts at home, having some coffee and watching a Christmas Story at least 6 different times during the previous 18 hours (I love TBS for playing this movie for 24 hrs straight!) we headed over to T's Mom's for the day..She always treats us well on Christmas. Anything we ask for we get. We do make sure not to go over board, but there have been times that there is something we REALLY want and she's good at granting our wish.

This year for Christmas all I asked her for was a rug...you see she is retired and spends most of her time hooking rugs. She makes beautiful rugs. The walls and floors in her house have loads of her pieces covering the surfaces. In our house we have several small rugs scattered through out the house as well as quite a few in the babies room now....back to the rug I wanted..About a year or two ago she began to make this rug, it was a Frog sitting on a snail shell. She completed the center and it was vibrant and gorgeous. I made it known that that rug would look GREAT in my home...to no avail, she stopped working on it.

When we announced to her that we were pregnant I made it known again but a little different this time...that her Grandchild would LOVE that rug hanging on his or her wall.....hint hint hint. At my baby shower she gave me a rug that she hooked about 12 years ago with teddy bears on it (again beautiful) but it was not the Frog rug. So I dropped my last hint....I WANT THAT RUG!!!!

Well I got my rug! What do you think?

It will hang on the wall above the crib....Yeah!! By far my FAVORITE gift I got. She also gave me a bag filled with handmade sweaters, socks and hats for the baby. All really nice. One set may be the coming home outfit...we'll see.

T also got a rug this year (we both usually get one). His was a total shock to him. I knew she was making it, but had only seen the drawing on the canvas. I had not seen any of the work once it began....it is a portrait of him.

She hasn't completed the edges yet. I have to bring it back to her so she can complete it. She is using it in an art show in early January. I told her to put the picture she drew it from next to it...It is really awesome in person. You can see the textures in the face and hands. Just amazing.

Between her art abilities and T's musical abilities, I really hope our kids gets one or both...

What was your favorite gift this Holiday?

Quick Preggo update...

Just a quick update...

I have less than 6 weeks remaining until my due date arrives. Of course I could easily remain preggo for another 8 weeks..or I could have a baby in 4...it all depends on when this little bugger is ready to exit my dark warm womb.

I am presently in my 34th week. I have gained 24 lbs (I am very pleased with this number). Per my appt yesterday I am measuring 2 weeks behind, but the doctor is not concerned with that. She says the baby remains in a head down position and is not beginning to lower just yet.

She gave me a full script of ambien to help with my sleeping. I discussed some of the newer aches/pains I have been experiencing, but all are normal, so again nothing to be concerned with.

I really can't complain much. I mean I am uncomfortable, but that is a part of this journey. I have had no swelling, very little back pains, and just common other ailments. I have had to limit the items/weights I lift because I have found that when I lift things over 10lbs it is causing this really bad pain in my belly. Other than that I go about my business....

So that is my utterly boring update for this week...my next Dr. appt is 1/5/09 and then I start going every week.......only 12 more days of work!!!!!

Ice Bullets...

It drives me crazy when people do not clean off the tops of their cars after a snow or ice storm. They have no regard for the vehicles behind them as the sheets of ice and frozen solid snow is breaking away from their rooftops and flying at 70 miles per hour at my windshield!

This really aggravated me yesterday as I drove into work after we had 2 pretty large snow storms (I have about 18 inches of snow) during the weekend. There were literally 18 inch high, 12 inch square (and larger) blocks of hard snow and ice flying off of vehicles into my car and windshield. The roads were too slippery to attempt to swerve so I pretty much just closed my eyes each time (yes...closed my eyes while driving 60-70 on the highway) hoping that when the glass shattered it wouldn't go in my eyes.

This morning was not much better. The remaining snow on cars was truly in ice formation now (seeing as though our current temp is like 12 degrees). Causing even more concern when the chunks were flying at me..

Please Please Please clean off the tops of your cars when they get covered in snow, I beg of you.

1st major snow storm for the season...

..is upon us right now. Storm "Austin"...funny that name makes me think of warm weather not snow. It is expected to drop 9-12 inches on us by tonight.

It started snowing at my house at 1:00pm (actually it was 12:52-but I decided to round up) and it is now 4:00. I would say we have at least 4.5-5.5 inches already. Now mind you I live near the shore so it is not as bad here as it is elsewhere in the state. I bet Chele has a good inch or more in her area....

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I stayed home today and worked from here. I think I am going to plan to do more "work from home" until the baby comes. The stress I am under in the office is a bit too much for me to handle right now.

I got up at 4am again (this was even after I took sleeping pills last night!). Logged into work by 4:30. Made a chili in the crock pot around 8:30. Then our network connections at work went a bit haywire around 9ish. I muddled through it for a while and finally decided to call it a day around 10:30. I mean I had already put in 74 hours this week...I think that it was reasonable for me to log off-don't you?

When T came home from work this afternoon, we laid down and napped for a while. I love days like this....When the weather is snowy or rainy and I have no where to be, with a fridge and cabinets filled with my favorite foods.

I'm going to go take some snowy pics now, and put some Hot Chocolate water on the stove...Mmmm hot chocolate and marshmallows, fire burning in the fireplace, and snow falling.....nice way to spend the night.

14 hours and counting...

That I have been working..it is 9:34pm and I am still at frigin work. WTF !

**updated 4:10am 12/18**

Make that 16 hours..drove home on totally icy roads as I was falling asleep...and was back up within 3 hours logged back into work because my mind is racing and I keep waking up dreaming about work.

I can not go out of work soon enough...I WILL be discussing this unhealthy cycle with my Dr. yet again....

LOSER!

So I left my house around 8:30 this morning to head into work....made it about 18 miles (30 mins) and went to get gas (my gas light was on) only to discover I left my frigin purse at home!

Turned myself around and crossed my fingers that the fumes I had left would get me home and then to a gas station..they did. But it sucked!

Finally made it in around 10:45....only to get slammed in the face with more and more crisis'....the next 16 days can not come fast enough.

New England weather....

...ahh the joys we face living here in NE. I live in CT and the state is pretty small, it takes about 3 hours to drive from South to North and maybe 4 hours to drive West to East (or opposite)...

Last night we had a "Snow Storm"..now what does that mean to you? Cause here in NE that means something white fell from the sky, it does not refer to what remains on the ground, which in my case, is approx 2 inches of solid ice. Depending where you live, you may have gotten 3 inches of powdery white snow or like me 2 inches of pure ice or further south and east and all rain.

When it snows a few inches I have no issues traveling my 43 mile one way commute to work. Granted it takes me closer to two hours rather than the normal one hour 10 mins...but I feel confident driving in the snow. Ice, sleet, freezing rain (which ever term suits you best) on the other hand...no way Jose. Especially now that I am mid way through my 8th month of pregnancy. No chance in hell I am risking my life or my baby's life for Insurance IT...screw that shit.

I am planning on working from home for most of this morning...sadly it won't be for the day. I will NEED to go into work at some point due to a critical call that came in yesterday afternoon....it never ends....oh wait~it will end for me in 16 days!

Meal time...

How many of you, eat dinner nightly at the table as a family? I suppose it does not pertain to those of you that are single and live alone...but think back to when you lived at home or with a partner...

I don't recall eating "family" dinners as a child other than Holidays or big events. When I met T I was SHOCKED that his family ALWAYS sat at the dinner table to eat dinner and share in conversation. And dinners in that household where not just chew and screw, they lasted hours upon hours. Just regular old day to day meals. I loved it.

When T and I moved into together initially we did this too, however I didn't cook much then (I was 17 when we got our 1st apt) so we migrated our way to the couch, eventually chucking the table to make room for the fish tanks...

In our 2nd apt we tried this a little more often, however it was an eat in kitchen, and I hated it in there, bright white cabinets, dirty white floors, fluorescent lights....yuck. We ate approx 3 meals a week in there, all others where eaten in the living room or T's room (he had his own "man cave" in our 2nd apt).

In our house....I love my kitchen, I love my dining room, I love all my rooms! We have moved back to the eat dinner at the table tradition. One that I hope to instill in our child. We dim the lights low, set the table nice, eat a hearty meal and then sit and talk. We don't talk for hours, but a good 20-30 mins after we eat we are still talking. It has been a great way for me to unwind lately, I've needed this time tremendously and he knows it.

Anyway....this was all leading somewhere..I usually whip together pretty basic meals during the week since I don't normally get home from work till around 7pm and really want to eat by 7:30 if at all possible, but on Sunday's I have been trying to make something a bit more substantial....something with a little heart. Especially as the weather gets colder and we are inside more..

Last weekend I made an AWESOME eggplant parm, chicken cutlets and Linguine with Pesto sauce.....

This past Sunday I made a Stuffed Roasted Chicken, carrots, potatoes and green beans....(sorry no pic of the chicken completely cooked looking succulent)

After dinner this Sunday night I made some GREAT cookies, Oatmeal, Cranberries and Chocolate chips....I was thinking a lot about Orly yesterday..not sure why, just was. And he always loved when I made those cookies...so I made him a batch and with every bite I thought of him more.

I am trying to cherish these meal times of just the two of us right now...I highly recommend this tradition in your own homes...

Under 50.....

...days that is!


I officially have 48 days left (of course that is really all up to the baby)! The even better part is I only have 17 more days to work! And if we face any crappy weather in those 17 days I will work from home which to me is like a day off since the stress level at my home is non existent.


At 33 weeks I am feeling (and looking) huge...uncomfortable....achy....but who is complaining? Not I.


(sorry this pic is so crappy...my camera battery was really low when I took it)

Quick update...

We are having home computer issues so I was unable to post my 33Wk picture as well as the post that I am working on about Family Dinners....They require photos to be uploaded and when I try to load them to my work lap top my camera software is blocked... Damn big brother!

Once T can resolve the issues I'll have some updates..

Tag

Tag-a-Roo

I've been tagged by Elana

The rules are:1. Link to the person who tagged you.

2. Share 7 random and/or weird facts about you.

3. Tag 7 random people at the end, and include links to their blogs (I won;t be tagging anyone..but feel free to participate if you'd like).


1. I have a beauty mark the size of a kidney bean on my upper left thigh

2. I have never lived anywhere other than the State I was born in

3. My favorite sound is T playing guitar and singing

4. I am a shoe addict (could care less about purses...but LOVE shoes)

5. I love the smell and look of fire. If I could have fire around all the time I would be happy

6. I can not imagine living anywhere that was not within 30 minutes to the ocean. I am at most peace when I am on the water...(ocean or fresh water)

7. I can crack pretty much any bone in my body. It totally grosses T out....neck, back, fingers, knees....

Eager Beaver invasion...

I am interested in your opinions on this one...

I have been discussing with T that when the time comes for me to be in labor I want NO ONE told (other than the Dr. of course).

I don't want any calls made to his Mom, my Sister, my Mom or Dad, friends....The fact of the matter is I could easily "go into labor" numerous times. This is our first and chances are high that I will have a false alarm or two. Even if the one and only time we make our trip to the hospital it is the real deal, I do not want a waiting room of anxious people sitting there for hours upon hours...that is a lot of pressure on me. No one other than T will be with me when I deliver anyway, I am adamant about that one. I DO NOT want an audience.

The other part is that once the baby is here, I want us to have our chance to be alone with him/her without the eager beavers wanting to get their hands on it. My thoughts are that once the baby is here, and we have had our chance to meet him/her, name him/her, inspect every finger and toe, get all the after birth items taken care of (apgar, shots, eye meds, etc)...then we can make the calls.

It is selfish, I know, but I have never said I was not selfish. That is the main reason we chose to not have kids all this time, because we are selfish people.

My thoughts were reinforced last night as we were in our last New Born care class. There was a waiting room filled with family members of an expectant couple. They all looked bored out of their minds and eager for updates. All I could think about was that poor laboring Mom and Dad in their birthing room. The pressure they must be feeling to keep updating these people and know that the second that baby comes out they will be invading their space.

What are your thoughts on this?

What a waste....

...of a weekend.

I had to work on Saturday, we had a production release. If you don't work in IT, then just look at it like it is a day of torture....

Back in the day, when we had a production release, all QA and Developer staff would drag their tired sorry asses into work at 6am and our systems would be up and ready for us to test our changes early enough to have a stable environment before our call center reps were in the office to process work (I work in Insurance IT and we have call center reps that answer calls)...like I said this was "back in the day".

Over the past few years the staff still drags themselves in at 6am, only to have our systems not available until 7 or 8 and then of course the vultures stand over the QA staff looking for system stability.

In the past several months we have been moving our releases to Saturdays. Primarily because our systems have become so complex that the risk associated with releasing on a busy weekday is too high. This method SUCKS!

I was in the office by 5am (est) Saturday, our systems were supposed to be available at 5am so my offshore (India-3:30pm) staff could begin testing.......the systems are not up. 6am my onsite staff arrives in the office still no eta......7am eta 9am......9am still not up........9:40 Systems up Systems up!!!! Oh wait, system errors for every app! 10:30am they think they know the issue and will have it ready in 15 minutes......11:30 they still think they know the issue and again say 15 mins........12:30 we still have no systems to test (mind you it is now 11pm in India)...........1:22pm (midnight in India) the systems are FINALLY up for us to test...........4:45pm (2:15am India) my last Indian staff leaves the office...............5:50pm myself and my last onsite staff leave the office. We have issues in the production environment which will require some staff to work again Sunday.....

Sunday morning 7am onsite staff is ready to test.....ooops maybe someone should have told us the systems are not up until 8am on Sundays. It is now 8:37am and I have people working again today and I am calling in for status update meetings every 2 hours.....I had to call one of my staff this morning and ask her to go into the office and when I did she cried, totally broke down on me. Myself and my staff are so burnt out...

I have slept a total of (if I am lucky) 6 hours over the past two nights. I am cranky, irritable, and sore. I can't stop crying and all I want to do is curl up and close off the rest of the world.

Have I ever mentioned how much I dislike my job these days?

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On another topic, I received a phone call from one of my MIL friends last night around 9pm. One of their friends sons (22 years old) was stabbed to death outside a night club early Saturday morning. He was certainly a troubled kid, always in trouble and a heavy drinker...but sad that he is now dead. Not sure what this will do to his mother. My MIL is like a surrogate mother to her, so hopefully she will be able to help her through it.

Congrats on your BFP!!

April and Daryl!

After many months of frustrating BFN's you got your POSITIVE!

Silver bells, silver bells, soon it will...

..be Christmas day....

I kept it simple this year. As I put up the tree this weekend it hit me that I will need to take it down and put away all the xmas stuff in early to mid Jan when I will be SO ready to have a baby. So I chose to keep it simple..a little garland over the fireplace, only the large glass balls on the tree, and lights in the windows. No Nutcrackers, No carollers, No mistletoe, No outdoors lights and only 2 boxes of ornaments instead of 8.

Kind of a bummer, but it still looks pretty and makes me happy when I pull into the driveway and see into my front window......

Randoms

Several times people come up with witty questions to ask to get to know their readers...here is my version....

1. Ever been out of the US? (If Yes-where?)
2. When Men wear socks with shorts, should they be pulled up or scrunched down?
3. Xmas tree...real or fake?
4. Any Tattoos? (If yes-details...)
5. How many miles to you drive to work?
6. What is your middle name? (any significance to it?)
7. Bathroom-do you "go" with the door open when someone else is home?
8. Toilet paper-over hang or under hang?
9. When wet..do you comb your hair or brush your hair?
10. Favorite weekend outfit.

Day 217....

...63 days to go. I am 31 Weeks today (well Sunday).

So far I have been pregnant approx 217 days and have around 61 days remaining. Or to simplify matters...around 9 weeks remaining. But the REALLY simple math is only 29 days of work remaining (and I still have a personal day to use!)

Reality sinks in...

It hit me today, I am going to be someones parent in 7-11 weeks (9 W till my due date)...

Floors are done, Rug is down, furniture is put together and in it's place...all that is left is to hang the curtains/valance and wall hangings....Bedding is washed and Newborn as well as 0-3 months clothes are clean and folded...What will I do with my next several weeks?

Here are some pics of the room so far:

Before, it was used as my home office (this was actually around a year ago...)

And After....... (taken today)

Pre Term labor anyone? How about a walk in the woods?

I had a pretty rough weekend...loads of contractions and pain/pressure in my pelvis. There were points of the weekend that I was in so much pain I could not walk. The most contractions I had in an hour was 5, other hours I had none. I spent a good portion of my time on the couch or in bed, feet up, glass of water at my side.

When I had my 30W check up yesterday, we talked about my rough weekend, she did an internal exam and said my cervix is still set up like fort knox, so that is good. She was concerned with all of the items I had listed out for her, however because they were not all happening at once, she agreed that I was doing the right things by listening to my body and resting.

She will continue to check my cervix bi weekly if the pressure and contractions continue, but damn it, she didn't take me out of work as I hoped (lol). Not that I want to be on bed rest, but I bet I would feel a ton better if I didn't have to be here daily....on the bright side of things, only 29 more days of work left for me!

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When I go into the Dr. I always have my "list" ready. Questions, concerns, issues, whatever I can think of to bring up to her. This weeks list had a few items on it about "Personal Hygiene". I can't see my lady parts any more...therefore they are certainly not getting the care and maintenance that usually takes place down there.

(parental figures-maybe you shouldn't read this part)

My lack of "grooming" is really bothering me. Not sure why, but it is. T offered to take care of it, I had to politely decline his offer as I would most likely laugh the whole time, ending up with a bit of a mess. Here I am, going to deliver a baby in front of him, potentially poop on the table in front of him, yet I can not allow him to trim the hedges....

So I asked the Dr. about waxing. I have never waxed there, well at least not successfully (great post for another day). I wax my eyebrows and lip all the time but the bikini area, yikes! So I asked her if the pain could cause me to go into early labor or anything like that. She just kind of looked at me like I was crazy and advised that as my Dr. she is the one "looking" down there, and she has no concerns with the forest. (do you like all my little analogies?) So now I am conflicted..do I endure the pain and get it done to make myself feel better? Or so I suck it up and wait another 9.5 weeks to tackle the bush?

Personal days...

Are pretty flippin fabulous! I have today off. Slept in a bit (till 8:30), of course I still had to get up at 5:00 to feed the cat. I would have slept later than I did but T had to get up to go serve on a Jury..poor guy, he is miserable about it.

If there is one thing about my husband that I know, it is that he is not a fan of the way the justice system works. Well maybe that isn't totally the way to put it...he just does not feel that it should be up to him to determine the fate of another human being..he is not god. Luckily he is serving on a civil case, which simply involves a cash payout vs. jail time of an individual, but still, he is not at all happy about it.

When he went in on Tuesday for Jury Duty I told him to wear one of his funny political shirts that I've gotten him over the years...like "The Gaza Strip Club XXX" or "R.I.P Habeas Corpus" I figured those would help prevent him from being chosen, but no..he wears a fishing shirt. Duh they want the rednecks!

Anyway, I now have the house to myself. I was going to work on the baby's room but it stinks WAY too bad for me to go in there right now. T finished up the floors, they look so good, I am so proud of him (and can not wait for him to do the rest of the upstairs!). Instead I think I'll go up to town for breakfast at my favorite diner, finish up my dreaded thank you cards (only like 40 more to go-ouch), and start organizing some of these gifts into piles...you know stuff that needs to be washed, stuff that needs to go in the closet for a while until baby is bigger, stuff that we will use right away...etc.

Everyone enjoy your weekends. Tomorrow I have a hair appt, a 3rd b-day party and a 70's party tomorrow night..busy day. But nadda on Sunday!

One last note~ Congrats to Amanda on the birth of her precious baby Noah this week!

Sneaky Sneaky....

My friend Rose, one of my closest and dearest friends, organized a surprise baby shower at work today! There were lots of people involved in actually pulling it off, she had to have help to pull one over on me! Of course this is also on one of the days that I chose to not wear one on my really cute pregnancy outfits (yes there really are cute outfits out there), hair is up in barrettes, and no make up on....

It totally caught me off guard. I thought I was going into this dreaded 2009 budget meeting. I had all my shit printed out, all my defense talking points outlined, I was "so" prepared! My boss scheduled this god awful meeting from 12-2...Hello! Do you not know that pregnant people need to eat meals? I advised her that I would be a little late since I was booked up till noon and really needed to heat my lunch up and bring it with me (stuffed peppers...yummy).

There was a line in the break room, so me being me, I waited patiently chatting away. One of my fellow managers came in looking for me, again I explained that um hello, I am mid way through my 7th month of pregnancy and can not go without lunch..I'll be there in a few minutes! For christ sakes can't a girl heat up lunch around these parts?

So I head into the room I think the meeting is in, only to walk in on like 30 people, so I quickly turn and walk out figuring I have the wrong room. They had to stop me. I still at this point had no clue!

So now I know where my 2nd play pen and crib mobile were.....also got just tons and tons a other stuff. One girl gave me this box that was decorated by her two little girls and in the box contained like 15 of their favorite baby and childhood books. She also gave me a hand made afghan from her mother. I got the coolest diaper cake from one of my employees and this one woman I work with she makes chocolates....she made a rocking baby cradle with a sleeping baby in it out of white chocolate and surrounding it are lots a little pieces of dark and milk chocolate foot prints, baby blocks, rattles...too flippin cute to eat!

Loads of PJ's, onesies, blankets, diapers, etc...almost like an entire 2nd shower!

I'll take some pics of the chocolates and diaper cake later...my camera batteries are dead right now.

Pregnancy, pregnancy and more pregnancy...

Sorry for all the "preggo" talk lately...on the plus side I am now 29 weeks, which means approximately 11 weeks (or 77 days) remain!

Not sure I grew a lot in the last couple of weeks, maybe a hair bit though.


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I had my baby shower yesterday, it was great, got loads of good shit (it outta be good-I picked it all out!), T and I went through it all again last night and I showed him all the fun toy stuff.

But if I can be totally honest on here...really disappointed in my friends. Don't get me wrong a few of my friends were there, and they are actually the ones that tend to blow shit off last minute, but then there were at least 7 of my friends that never said they weren't coming (some even arranged to bring food) yet didn't show up. Now a day later, not even a phone call. WTF is that about?

One of my MIL friends came (she was invited) and didn't bring a gift, is that not odd? I hate to sound ungrateful...but really, do you go to a bridal or baby shower, a birthday party, and NOT bring a gift?

I am confused/concerned about my registry....there are a few items that are showing as purchased (rather expensive items) yet I didn't get them. The people that didn't show up are not people with loads of money so I don;t think that any of them bought the $170 playpen, I am wondering if the store messed up. Guess I'll wait a couple of weeks to see if it arrives on my doorstep.

Also..is this weird? I received nipples (bottle nipples) from 3 people....but no one got me bottles. I registered for the bottles and the nipples...weird?

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Bought some really cute onesies and PJ's this week at Old Navy. They were having a kick ass sale on Baby stuff (in some cases it was 70% off). I think the most I spent on any one item was $2.50.

PEACE LOVE AND ROCK & ROLL
THE WINGS WITH A MUSIC NOTE IN THE CENTER

ROCK AND ROLL LEGEND


RECYCLE

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T should be done sanding the baby's room floor tomorrow. He Polyurethane it 2 coats and we should be able to start moving stuff in my the weekend. Can't wait to have that project to work on. I need to start preparing the room to help me pass some time and figure out what else I could need to get.....

Day 201 and I am still here...

Thankfully my dream did not come true.

We started childbirth classes last night...it was interesting.

There were 7 couples in there. One was a girl and guy I went to high school with! Really awkward. We weren't friends, they are a couple of years older than me. Anyway, just weird.

T made it through ok, but was turning white as a ghost a couple of times. I have to admit, all the talk about the mucous plug and bloody show got me a bit queezy too!

The baby was VERY active throughout the class. Especially during the deep breathing exercise.

Couple of observations:
7 couples
3 yellow team
1 blue team
3 pink team

All couples but one or two were CLEARLY in their 30's.

2 woman are due a couple of weeks before me and DO NOT look pregnant at all.

2 woman are due within 3 days of me and we all look totally pregnant.

2 woman are due a week to two weeks after me and DO NOT look pregnant.

It was odd that the 3 of us due in late Jan early Feb were the ones with the belly's..one was blue and the other pink, me yellow..so can't even try to determine if the sex has anything to do with our sizes.

FYI: Blue team = Boy, Pink = Girl and Yellow = don't know

A little something on my mind..

I posted a couple of weeks back that I had the baby on day 200...well that is today. I am certainly not feeling like I'll have it today (thankfully) however I woke up feeling "odd", not sure how to explain it.

I called into work and crawled back into bed to cuddle with T.

The baby's movements today are a bit off too. Usually s/he is really active in the am as I am driving into work and then again around lunch and again at night while I am in bed. So far this morning I have felt the tiniest little movements, just a tap tap here and there. Not it's normal disco action.

Maybe we are both just really tired today. I will go and enjoy my cup of joe and see if that wakes us up.

Keep your fingers crossed that my dream does not come true today.

A little bit of my history...

...I am going to tell you a sad story now. It is a true story, one that formed who I am today,one that changed the direction of my future, one that lives in me daily....

When I was a young teen (12-14) I had the bestest friend in the world...her name was Sarah. She was a year older than me, but in my grade. Our dad's worked together as mechanics which initially forced us to be friends.

She was way cool. Total 80's rocker chick! Big hair, you know the kind that you used the silver and pink can of aqua net hairspray for! She loved Metallica, Megadeath, Striper...any of those wicked 80's hair bands.

We became friends, sisters, immediately. We had a connection, unlike any I had had with anyone else before or since.

I recall that we had a fight when I was around 13 and then she moved to TX with her dad for several months and we were not speaking at that time. What the fight was over...I can't remember now. When she returned to CT we hooked back up, said how sorry we were and how much we missed each other and back to being BFF we were...Anyway, she never again lived in my town, always lived about 30 mins away, but we managed to see each other frequently.

On June 8, 1991 we went to a local amusement park to see Poison, Slaughter and the Bullet boys. My dad got us the tickets. He brought me, along with Sarah, another great child hood friend Kelly and one of Sarah's friends - Liz. It was awesome! We rode rides all day, then watched a kicking rock show and then headed home. Everyone slept at my house that night (as they always did) and we had plans to go swimming the next day with my boyfriend - Fred and his best friend - Shane (Shane had just turned 16 and got his license).

The boys picked us up around 9am, we were heading to the Shane's house to go swimming in his pool.....6 of us packed into his ford escort station wagon..Shane driving, Fred in the front seat, me on the center console in the front seat. Kelly behind Shane, Sarah in the middle of the back seat, and Liz behind Fred.

Music playing, windows down, sun shining....6 kids loving Summer! Loving life! Loving being young and together!

And then it happened.......we crashed - head on into a mini van that was coming around the corner. We were in the wrong lane, Shane was showing off for the girls, swerving, being a typical 16 year boy. When he saw the van he cut the wheel, we spun and spun and spun until WHAM we stopped.

I don't know how much time passed by the time I opened my eyes, it felt instant, but I don't really know. It was quiet..really really quiet.

Fred and I were both alert, we struggled to get out of the car, wind knocked out of us, confused, scared, covered in blood. He and I were in the front seat with no seat belts on..our faces broke the windshield. Once we got away from the car, we realized no one else was following.

I ran back to the car and opened the back door. Got Liz out but she was in severe pain, struggling to walk. Sarah was slumped over on the seat with her seat belt secured around her waste, Kelly was trapped, trapped behind the driver seat with her door partially embedded in her chest and stomach...this was bad really bad....Fred had gone to check on Shane and the people in the van..only to return and advise me that what he saw was not good, not for Shane at least...not good at all.

Sarah wouldn't wake up, Kelly was moaning in agony, and Shane was silent..there was nothing we could do.

Fred and I rode to the hospital together in the ambulance, holding hands the entire time, we were both so scared. These were our best friends and we had no idea what was happening with them.

Many hours passed, we both got stitched up, x-rayed, and released to our parents. We asked immediately what was happening "we haven't heard anything yet" is all we kept being told. Our parents took us back to my house, once there they sat us down.....

Sarah and Shane had died. Both died right there, right then. Kelly was in critical condition and in a coma, undergoing major surgery to remove large portions of her intestines, kidneys, bowel, etc she would be in the hospital for a very, very long time...Liz had a broken pelvis bone and was alert and would recover......Fred and I....a few lousy stitches.

We were both so lucky to be in the shape we were...but we felt so horrible. His best friend...my best friend...gone, both of them.

That was a very hard time for me, mentally, emotionally, physically. Thanks god Fred and I had each other. It bonded us in a way that no one should ever have to be bonded, but man I am not sure I would have made it through with out him and him with out me...

This all happened 17 years ago, a lifetime ago. I haven't spoken to Kelly in nearly 13 or 14 years. We had a fight about a guy that was using her for all the money she got from this accident and it ended our friendship. We live in the same town now, and every time I go out to the store or gas station or anywhere local I hope to run into her so we can re-connect. Kelly is married (I think) with 2 children. I wasn't friends with Liz, so really never spoke to her again after this happened. And Fred, dear Fred. He was my first love, we were young, but we really did love each each other. Not enough to be together forever (thankfully cause I can't imagine not being with T), but enough to share our first love experience with each other. We still talk about once a year. T and I have visited him a couple of times when we went to Cape Cod (where he has lived for a long time). He is a good guy, a dad now to a daughter...Sarah.

I am sharing it with you all tonight because I received sad news today that Sarah's only full sibling, her younger brother Steven (she had 4 brothers total) died on Nov 1, 2008. Both of her Mothers children are now dead. Her other brothers are all from her Dad. I don't know the circumstances of his death, just that he was 29, married in February of 2008, and living in NH. His service is Saturday at 1pm...the exact same time as my shower and very far away, so I can not even attempt to make it.

It made me think a lot about Sarah this afternoon...made me think a lot about becoming a parent and the deep loss that her mother must have felt for the past 17 years and the deeper loss she must be feeling now.

Thanks for letting me share with you.....

I passed...

...my glucose test that is, no gestational diabetes for me thank you.

Went in for my 28 week check up yesterday...lost 1 lb and passed my glucose test, so I celebrated by eating fried chicken, french fries and chocolate chip cookies for dinner!

Yee Haw!

Time for an intervention?

...I am an addict.....to the Internet that is. We have no Internet access at home right now. It is totally stressing me out! I can't get into facebook, myspace or my Yahoo mail. WTF??

We were in the process of switching from our phone company to our cable company for Internet access...no more. Now I need to call the phone company and get a technician out to my house to hook me up in the den for Internet access.

It is times like this that it becomes apparent to me and T that I AM my father's daughter.....I have his temper....his really really bad temper....

Here is our journey into switching Internet providers.....

• T called the cable company Sat night because he got an error while installing the drivers for the new modem. After spending a significant amount of time on the phone with them they were of no help, so a help desk ticket needed to be opened and the service desk would get back to us in 24-48 hours....
• Sunday I called to check on the status and try to have it escalated. No luck, I spoke with the escalation desk and they basically told me that 24-48 hours is standard for residential accounts and that the ticket was assigned and I would be hearing from someone soon....
• Monday night around 7:45 I called again (seeing as though 48 hours has passed and still no call back), again they tell me that it is assigned to someone and I will be hearing from someone in the next 24-48 hours..so I questions this of course..seeing as though it has already been 48 hours. The rep proceeds to tell me that 24-48 is "business days" so Saturday and Sunday don't count. I FLIPPED OUT!

Do you think that when we spoke to people on Sat and Sun anyone said this to me? That was the last straw (that and the fact that they kept me on hold for 28 mins!). I told the rep to take his self starter kit and shove it up his ass! Cancel my sign up with them and if they wanted their equipment back they could come get it because I would NOT go out of my way to assist them in getting it back. I then told him that if his shit was still in my house at the end of this week I would be running it over for pleasure.

Man it pissed me off! But now I am screwed because I have no Internet at home. This means I can't even work from home when I need to. It is going to cost me well over $100 to have the phone company come out to hook up a jack in my den. And hell, while they are there, i am going to have other rooms converted too.

It's a numbers game....

I am 28 weeks today....that means that I have been pregnant for 196 days...I have 12 weeks remaining....or 84 more days.....I have only 38 more work days.....My shower is in 6 days.....

The baby's room is painted, trim needs one more coat, closet doors are coming out, the rug is gone, floors will be finished over the next week or two.

Crib is ready to be built, glider is at MIL's, changing table is built, clothing is piling up waiting to be washed.....

We start birthing classes this week, and new born care classes in 3 weeks....

The Holidays are coming, which doesn't leave much down time...

I can't believe that in less than 3 months I will be someones mother. It is hitting me now....like I have to push this thing out! Holy crap! That is gonna hurt~

Red wine tonight...

...that's about all I want...a nice big glass of red wine, but I can't! Not because of the baby, god he/she wants it too!

I am going for my diabetes testing in the morning and have to fast for 12 hours. Too bad I haven't had dinner yet (since I did not get out out work until 7:57 - 13 hours day...3 days in a row!) and my test is now 10 hours away, so dinner does not look like an option for me. I am hungry, very hungry. The last time I ate was at 1pm today.

Work is so stressful right now, it is nearly impossible to even find 5-10 mins to eat breakfast or lunch. There are many days I realize that I haven't eaten and it is nearly 4pm.

Right now all I want to do is walk out, quit, tell them all to go Fuck themselves! I would LOVE to see someone else do my job. Good fucking luck. My boss has no clue at all what I deal with all day having 14 people in India and 11 here in the US. I am in meetings daily from 7-5 then have to filter through the hundreds (yes HUNDREDS) of emails I received all day, then respond to some of them, and then do my actual fucking job! She is in at 7:30 and gone at 3:15, god I can not wait to go out on maternity and let her live in my world for several weeks. And if all goes well, maybe I'll screw her and not return at all because I will find a new job while I am out...

A girl can dream can't she?

I get my news in the morning....

...what a way to wake up!

Welcome President Elect Barack Obama!!

I am so proud to know that I helped elect you as the next American President.

You united this country in a way no other president has done since John F. Kennedy. You've inspired "change" in peoples thinking patterns, you've given so many of us "Hope" that you are our first ever African American President. History making, History breaking....

For the first time in 8 years, I am so proud of Americans..

Let's make History together....

...I was in line to vote at 5:55am...along with about 100 other people. I live in a tiny little town, seeing lines out the door and wrapped around the parking lot was shocking.

Regardless of the outcome in this election, this is a historical time in our Country.

Please have your voice heard today...go out and VOTE!!

**updated** I forgot to mention that I got to vote in booth number 13 this morning..13 is my favorite number! Maybe it is a positive sign of how things will turn out today.

Bye bye Kermit...

...our frog died yesterday. I went to feed him/her last night before dinner and he was laying on the bottom of his bowl..He plays dead a lot, so I tapped the glass, moved it around a bit and nothing..he was on his back, sleeping forever.

When T and I got married we had Beta fish and African Albino clawed frogs on the tables...this was one of our wedding frogs (I actually bought him after the fact cause there were none left after the wedding(. He lived nearly 3 years.

So long, farewell Kermit....

New Belly Pics...

It dawned on me this morning after I looked at Nancy's newest photo, that I never posted my 25 Week pic and it was time for my 27 Week one!!

25Weeks

27 Weeks

I learned today that babies born after week 27 have a 90% or better survival rate...relieving, still scary as hell, but relieving.

Oh and one last pic for my parents....

Accomplished...

I painted the baby's room today....all by myself! I get impatient waiting for T to do things, so I took it upon myself to do it. The color I chose was Aloe Essence by Valspar. It should be good for either a girl or a boy. (I'll post some pics in a later post..once it is done)

All I have left to do is the heater covers, which need to be cleaned first. I'll do those tomorrow. And the trim. I am just going to go with a crisp white for the trim. The windows and closet are already white (need a fresh coat) but the trim around the floor is all natural wood. I would prefer the wood, but don't want to go through the effort to strip all the already painted stuff..

I am also thinking about replacing the closet doors.....we'll see.

There is wall to wall carpet in my upstairs rooms. However the people we bought the house from had a dog and kids, so the carpet is pretty gnarly. I would LOVE to rip it up and re-finish the hardwood floors. I am crossing my fingers that I will be able to get T to do this in at least the baby's room. If he won't I will have to spend money on new carpet because I will not be letting a baby crawl around on this gross floor.

kind of a bummer....

Halloween that is.

My neighbor is like REALLY into this night. He has a cemetery set up in his front yard, dead people crawling out of the ground, smoke machines, ghost flying around, music....so we get LOTS of people...droves of them...to his house.

They all walk down his drive way, which separates our yards (no fence - and actually on my property!) and take his candy, admire his graves and dead bodies, and then walk back up the drive way without even trying my sweet sugary treats!

I had my spot light on, my porch light on, the light in my drive way....nothing. More than 50% of them just walked on....

You know what this means right? That we will eat the candy now! Just what we need in a house with a pregnant woman and her sugar addict Husband....snickers, baby ruth's, paydays, peanut butter cups and pixie sticks.....

Lions and tigers and bears..OH MY!

Hope you all enjoy your fright night! We get tons of little trick or treaters in our neighborhood. I expect to be pretty busy most of the night handing out sugary sweets!

We lived in an apartment above a liquor store for nearly 10 years and never got any kids...last year was our first Halloween that we actually had to have candy, and it went from 5-9 steady! I bought 6 bags I hope that is enough....maybe I'll run out and get a couple more as back ups...

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I got a couple of movies from Netflix today! Usually T is the only one that uses it, occasionally I throw something on there. I got the Sex and the City movie (I already saw it in the theatre, but am jones'n to see it again) and Knocked Up. I was sick of people asking me if I had seen it, so I figured I'd better rent it finally and watch it.

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Other than movie watching this weekend I plan to help finish painting the baby's room, so that T can start on re-finishing the hard wood floors.

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Don't forget to turn your clocks back Sat night before you go to sleep! Daylight Savings begins on Sunday.

Good Morning Sunshine.....

Another Fabulous start to my day........Thankfully I am working from home today...

Warm and Fuzzies?

I think not.......this is not the kind of article you want to read at 6:00 am before you head into work for the day......work being the company noted in the article!


And this is not how you want your day to progress.....


Things do not look good. I guess I should be grateful, thankful that I work for the property casualty company which is in a better financial position....however I am not. As a company in whole...we are all at risk. It is very stressful thinking about how I am the sole income earner in our household, with a mortgage that is equal to one of my two paychecks a month and a baby on the way....

It is all wait and see now......

Happy Anniversary my love....

It's my 3 year wedding anniversary today...T and I were together for 10.5 years before getting married, so we don't really celebrate our wedding anniversary too much, a card and dinner, done...Our "real" anniversary is in January, our first date...that's when we fell in love....I know I know totally cheesy! But it is the truth, we really do love each other still...

Let me tell you the story of how we met...

I was 17 years old and in the beginning of my Senior Year of High School. I had been through a bad break up with my boyfriend of about a year or more (he was sleeping with a few of my friends...nice friends huh?), anyway a friend of mine took me to this Open Mic night at a local coffee house, to grab some joe and listen to music.

Through out the night I was writing in my journal (I was a HUGE journal keeper when I was in high school and really into writing poetry) and then this guy, this MAN, got up on the stage and sang a song..."Not So Lonely" was the title. Well I was "so lonely" the song brought me to tears, not because it was sad, but because it made me realize a lot about myself. I immediately wrote down a few thoughts and the night continued on...

Later that week the song, the performance, the guy was still heavy on my mind, so I began writing. I wrote a few things that were inspired by that night. A few weeks later one of my English teachers encouraged me to submit some poems to the a national magazine that published and rewarded student writing, so I did. One of the pieces was about the guy from the open mic....
Well a couple of months passed, I returned to the open mic a few more times, was even introduced to him a couple of times by friends we had that were mutual, but one day I had to approach him myself...I had heard back from the magazine, I was being published and had earned myself a small amount of money in the form of a scholarship all for the little poem I wrote about him!

Utterly embarrassed I approached him, re-introduced myself, and told him that "a few months ago I was going through a really hard time emotionally and you inspired me to express myself through words. I submitted some of those words to a magazine and won a scholarship, and well I really wanted to share that with you and thank you for the inspiration". I gave him a copy of the poem, said thanks again and walked away.

He played the song for me that night...I didn't cry though, but it meant so much to me, and clearly meant a lot to him. Later he asked me to meet him another night that week at a different open mic..."and bring your writing, I'd really like to read more"......

Well until that point in my life, the only person other than myself that ever read my journals was my English teacher! But I was smitten with this guy, so I did it! The night I met him, we drank coffee, listened to music, read my poetry, talked.....after a couple of hours he excused himself to the bathroom....well I really had to get home...I did have school the next day! So while he was in the loo I wrote my name and number on a napkin, stuck it in his coat pocket, and left....

The VERY NEXT DAY he called me (not typical for a guy). I was ecstatic! We set up a first date for that weekend, Sat night at his house. He lived with his folks but they would be away for the weekend, so he wanted t have me over for dinner and playing some pool...

I was SO excited, but also very nervous. I had never been on a date with someone I did not know. I told my best friend the address where I was going, his name, etc...basically in case I never returned she knew where I was headed (like he was an ax murder). The reason I was so scared was because here I was this 17 year old High School Senior, going to some Guys house who is clearly in his mid 20's. I mean what kind of a perv hooks up with a teenager? (My perv!)
Well when I arrived and knocked on the door, this sweet little old lady answers.....his MOM! They didn't go away after all....so my very first date ever with T was dinner with his parents...I guess it was meant to be.

I slept there that night, and we have spent almost every night together ever since that cold January night in 1995......

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I heard a great line at a wedding last week during the toast....."May today be the day that you love each other the least".

T ~ I love you more each day that we are blessed to have together.......

Chicken Stew please....

I want to make a really easy chicken stew....something that I can just throw all the crap (unmeasured) in the crock pot at 6am and come home at 6pm to have it ready to be eaten......

Can you help me? What do you use for your base? Do you just use water? Do you use chicken stock? Do you use boneless or bone in pieces? Could you use an actually whole chicken (like a roaster?)

I think I want it thick, like the way my Mom used to make Beef Stew when I was a little girl.

What's your favorite....

......part of your body? Is it your eyes? Your feet? Your breasts? And why?

Double digits...

My pregnancy ticker is telling me I have 99 days left!! I had a dream last night/this morning that the baby was born on day 200...that's in 19 days and would be FAR too soon. Let's hope that is not the case.

I am still in a funk. Haven't had much enthusiasm for anything lately. I am going to spend my weekend cleaning. T is working all day today and fishing all day tomorrow which gives me the space I need to clean...really clean.

Maybe when I need a break I'll jump on and try to get through day 3 of Niagara Falls.....

Till then~

I've got the blues....

I've got the Blues...I've got them bad. I can't tell if they are the Baby Blues...the Life Blues...the Job Blues.....

I am unhappy all day at work. I wake up with that pit in my stomach. I am angry and moody all day. As I drive home I become emotional and angry that I have to go home and prepare a meal, and then repeat the same shit the next day. Sometimes I want to find a place to escape...a place that is not home, a place that is not work, a place that is quiet...dark...warm.

I haven't dealt with depression in a long time. I went through a period of time when I was a teenager that I was seriously depressed, so bad that I had to leave school my senior year and get home schooled. It was all related to typical teenage shit, bad break up with a boyfriend, betrayal by my closest friends, dealing with the F'ed up shit I faced as a young child. But instead of turning to drugs and alcohol I turned to counseling. Tell me...how many 16/17 year olds do you know that would willingly seek out therapy?

My goal at this time was to NOT take medication. At the time I was so Anti anti-depressants. I now fully understand the benefits and need for them for some people. I am not one of them. I don't have a chemical imbalance that needs to be corrected/adjusted with meds. I just get sad sometimes...it happens.

During my therapy sessions I learned how to deal with my anger, with my sadness. How to look at things with optimism...things can always be worse. This has been such a huge help to me through out my life, knowing that I can work through anything, but sometimes I need to let it fester in my head for a while before I can "deal" with it. The problem I am facing right now is I don't know what is making me sad. I am hopeful it is just the combination of the hormonal imbalance in my body and the stress of my job getting to me.

I love my husband, he treats me well, tells me how much he loves me daily, is the first to compliment my appearance. He does what I ask (sometimes I have to ask a few times..but that is normal). So that isn't the issue...

I have this baby growing inside of me, that I am feeling move more and more each day. Which is a sigh of relief, since it took so long to feel the slightest movement.

I only have 57 days of work left before I have several weeks off. And in 3 days I will be under 100 days away from my due date!

My baby shower is 3 weeks away.

These are all good things....so why am I so sad

Almost time....

Friday! It's finally here! My day is almost over. I'll send a few more emails here at work and take off.

Going to stop on my way home for a pedicure and eyebrow wax. It's been a while since I had a pedi, maybe around 3 months and I am going to a wedding tomorrow wearing my super cute peep toe heels and need my piggies to look fabulous! Normally I would paint them myself, but I can not reach them!

Tonight T is going cat fishing so I am a single woman...what a great way to pamper myself right?

Tomorrow am I am going for my previously scheduled hair appt, so I'll have fresh highlights and a nice fresh cut for the wedding. My friend Elaine is getting married at 1:00, I don;t think we will make it to the ceremony, but will be at the reception which begins at 6:00pm.

Sunday I am heading to an apple festival and a pampered chef party (I need more PC like I need a hole in head!).

I am hoping to get around to posting about Day 3 of our Niagara trip. I have so many more pics to share with you all.

Please honor the lost....

Today, October 15th, is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day in the United States.

Many of us have either lost a baby or know someone that has. You may even know many woman that have angel babies, but never shared that information.

Everyone is invited to light a candle at 7PM (your time) and keep it burning for 1 hour. This will enable there to be a continuous wave of light over the world on Oct 15.

Chunky Monkey....

As a woman I have spent the past 12-16 years focused on weight gain, health, exercise, diet, etc. The pressures we have in society to be thin is horrific.

I have never been a "skinny" girl. I have always had curves, especially on top. I was a C cup in the 6th grade. As I got older and wiser and learned more about the status of my body, I found that I was at my happiest and most comfortable at 145lbs. Mind you I am not tall, 5'4" (or is it 5"4' ?), 145 is approx 15 lbs over the Medically recommended weight. What ever.

I joined weight watchers a few years back when my weight got up around 165 and I felt just unhealthy. I knew I needed to do something, but dieting was not for me. I like WW because it was portion control vs. DON'T EAT THAT!

I was able to get down to 135, but was not happy with how I looked. My neck/collar bones seemed to protrude, my body felt...deflated. I immediately gained back 7 lbs and felt so much better.

So being pregnant and actually gaining weight is difficult. Because my mind set has been so focused on staying thin, losing weight, portion control, etc...I have a really hard time watching the numbers go up up up on the scale at the Dr.'s office.

I went yesterday for my 24W appt and gained 8lbs in 4 weeks! OMG! That seems so bad, so unhealthy.

We were on vacation last week, eating out, sitting in the car for 2 full days, but I felt like crap after seeing that number. I have only gained a total of 13lbs so far, which is low for being in the middle of my 6th month, so I really can't focus on that. And frankly I am ok with what ever I gain, whether it is 20lbs or 60lbs...it's just really hard to accept that gaining weight is a good thing when we are always told what a bad thing it is..

Day 2 part 2

At the Maid of the Mist ride they hand out the really corny plastic bag rain pouches. Again, we were SO thankful to have had our actual rain coats with us. We took the rain pouches too, but had we worn only those we would have wound up so much more wet than we did.

We were also very lucky to have T's waterproof digital camera with us! So we have pics and video of the whole ride. The Maid of the Mist ride is a boat (as shown in the pic above) that takes you right into the center of the base of the falls. It is very loud, very cold, and oh so very wet!

After we completed this adventurous ride, we headed up the street (Clifton Hill) to find someplace to eat lunch (can you believe we did all of this so far without food!). There was a large restaurant, (can't remember the name) kind of like an adult Chucky Cheese, lots of games and food. We ordered a couple of sandwiches (that were HUGE) and bitched about how F'ing wet we were and couldn't wait to get changed.

This street was filled with fun...candy shops, fun houses, haunted houses, ferris wheels, etc......too much to see and do with a full belly and wet clothes so we headed to the people mover and road our way back to the incline railroad so we could head to the Hotel to change.

Once we were clean, dry and rested we got dressed and headed back out for an afternoon stroll to the waterfall and back to Clifton Hill. We jumped on the incline again to get to the Falls.

There was a fantastic set of rainbows over them.

After standing in awe for a while we made our way to the people mover bus to Clifton Hill..I mean there was a fudge factory there! We knew that at the time we were leaving we would be able to catch the people mover one way only and would have to hoof it back (little did we realize just hoe far that would be!).

We stopped into the fudge factory and I bought a chocolate covered pretzel for now and a Pecan tart for later! T got nothing (wimp). And off for some haunted houses we headed. We were referred to one that was a bit off the beaten path, it had a grim reaper on the front, we were told it was by far the best of them all...we were so excited to get to it.....they wouldn't let me in! Had a no pregnant chick policy- BULLSHIT! (BTW My Dr. gave me a note today so I can attend other Haunted Houses). I argued and argued but nope, he was not letting me in. Screw them, who needs their shitty haunted house anyway?

So we went the Casino (equally as scary), I traded in $40 American for $40.80 Canadian and made my way to the Roulette table....played one hand lost $12, played the next and one of my numbers hit, rewarding me $72. Played the next hand and the SAME number hit again, rewarding me another $72, the baller was switched for break, so I cashed out $110 richer than I was 8 mins earlier!

We left the casino and headed to the Fun houses..I mean they have to let pregnant chicks into fun houses right? Right! This fun house would have been fun for like 4 year olds..not a 31 and 38 year old, but we made the most of it.

After we had had all the fun we could handle we started to make our way back to the hotel. It took us around 45 mins to get there. Good thing I have a sense of direction. We found an Italian place in the Hilton to stop at on the way and had dinner. It was pretty good, kind of a mix of Olive garden and Vinny T's.

Then to Starbucks for a nite cap and off to the room to digest and sleep....