I am interested in your opinions on this one...
I have been discussing with T that when the time comes for me to be in labor I want NO ONE told (other than the Dr. of course).
I don't want any calls made to his Mom, my Sister, my Mom or Dad, friends....The fact of the matter is I could easily "go into labor" numerous times. This is our first and chances are high that I will have a false alarm or two. Even if the one and only time we make our trip to the hospital it is the real deal, I do not want a waiting room of anxious people sitting there for hours upon hours...that is a lot of pressure on me. No one other than T will be with me when I deliver anyway, I am adamant about that one. I DO NOT want an audience.
The other part is that once the baby is here, I want us to have our chance to be alone with him/her without the eager beavers wanting to get their hands on it. My thoughts are that once the baby is here, and we have had our chance to meet him/her, name him/her, inspect every finger and toe, get all the after birth items taken care of (apgar, shots, eye meds, etc)...then we can make the calls.
It is selfish, I know, but I have never said I was not selfish. That is the main reason we chose to not have kids all this time, because we are selfish people.
My thoughts were reinforced last night as we were in our last New Born care class. There was a waiting room filled with family members of an expectant couple. They all looked bored out of their minds and eager for updates. All I could think about was that poor laboring Mom and Dad in their birthing room. The pressure they must be feeling to keep updating these people and know that the second that baby comes out they will be invading their space.
What are your thoughts on this?
9 comments:
I totally agree with you. Luckily, my mother, mother-in-law, and all other immediate family live so far out of town that even if we called to say "I'm in labor now", they couldn't possibly get here in time. I think we'll wait until I'm well into labor to call anyone, but not wait until they're already born so that anyone who is planning to come to help with the babies afterwards can make plans to come.
I agree also, I don't want anyone there except Kevin and my mother but me and my mom have a close relationship and I'm too scared to do it without her honestly. But AFTER we have OUR time with him, then I wouldn't mind people coming to visit...although I'd prefer they wait until we get home to come visit but then again who wants tons of company when they first get home? Anyways, you are NOT selfish for wanting the privacy...this is you and your husbands time, not everyone elses.
OMG and only 52 days left?!? Holy shit girl! You better give us one last good belly shot!
I totally agree!!! And this shouldn't have to be said, because your family has a clue unlike my former in-laws, but if you even THINK one of them might show up to see you and the brand new baby while suffering from bronchitis, I HIGHLY suggest telling them no. Lou didn't, Moosh had run home to take a shower, it was too late by the time I got out of recovery to say no myself, and I was crazy sick for weeks after because of those asses.
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I think that is a good idea! With our induction everyone knew. I wanted my mom there, and I knew DH's mom would want to be there (not in the delivery room though...that was just DH). But anyway before we knew it everyone on DH's side was there...Grandparents, cousins, and his brother and SIL. They would just walk right into my room and I did not want anyone in there at the end (my epidural didn't work and I was really uncomfy). Anyway if I had it to do again we would not have announced the induction. They would all have just gotten a call that he had arrived!
People have waited on my labors twice. And I NEVER felt pressured. It was their choice to be there, I didn't give a crap.
Wait to call them....While I was in labor at home and waiting to go to the hospital we were too tired to think of anyone. We did call my Mom but that was because she was going xmas shopping all day and we knew she'd rather see her granddaughter (which she ended up watching me deliver-not my idea- and she wasn't invited-but I was too tired and out of it to care). We called the rest once she was was born. BUT they must have flew or beemed in because seriously I was nursing for the first time and the nurse was taking care of my girly parts and everyone showed up!!! I would definitely wait longer if I have another baby....Take your time as a family because the vultures will be circling once they hear the news....
I agree 100%! My MIL lives in a different state so we'll probably call her so she can plan her trip (she is about 3 hours away) and I originally wanted my Mom to be in the room but Big D says no. He just wants it to be him and I, alone. I've come to agree with him now.
We want our time alone to enjoy the fact that we're parents...before people start pouring in! LOL
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