2008 a year in review....

As I reflect back on 2008 there is so much to remember...good and bad, happy and sad.

One year ago today was when T and I had the conversation that has lead us to current day.....expecting a baby. T and I made a decision to start a family. It wasn't a hard as I thought it may be (I really had no idea if I could even get pregnant, being on birth control for nearly 15 years could easily take a toll on your reproductive system) but we didn't face any issues actually getting pregnant. Remaining pregnant was another story, we did have a difficult time in the beginning. I lost our first pregnancy very early on, however I am a firm believer that it was not because of anything I did or didn't do and there clearly was a reason to lose that baby. I was again very fortunate to get pregnant very quickly (within 5 weeks) with this baby. We knew the reality of the risks and decided to keep it quiet, heck we didn't even tell anyone we were trying. But in the end, here we are, with approx 30 more days before our baby is to be born, no longer safe inside of me where it is protected from the world.


We completed a lot of work on our house. Really making every room completed so that in 2009 we can begin working on the outside!

We traveled a little, making our first trip to Canada and visiting one of the 7 wonders of the world, Niagara Falls.

I went to NYC a couple of times.

We had a litter of baby kittens and a momma living in our back yard for a while...(I think one of them may actually be living under the shed again).

We elected a new President.

Our Frog died.

The company I work for laid off hundreds of employees, my job being at risk in early 2009 AND our stock dropped to under $5 a share for several days.


I lost people that were important to me. First was my beloved Grandmother. She had suffered for so long with Parkinson's disease and all of the ailments that came along with having that horrible disease. To watch her die was very difficult, but at the same time, I knew she was finally going to be in a peaceful place, with no more pain, no more wheel chairs, no more convalescent home...My dear Grandmother. When she died I was pregnant with the baby we lost. I knew I was pregnant at the time and I struggled with telling her. In the end I chose not to, out of fear she would hang onto life because of it.


Mid way through the year we lost Orly..funny how the people you work with have such an impact on your daily life. What a wonderful guy, full of life and happiness and love for his family. You never saw a man glow the way he did when he spoke of his wife and daughter, he loved them so fully. He had a big heart, a full heart, a sick heart..I think of him frequently, little things that happen, a smell, a noise...


There were other losses as well. People I was not so close to, yet it still had impacts on me. People I grew up with, knew from my childhood, hadn't seen in a long time.

My life has changed so much this past year. I have new focus, different focus. I hope that you have found things in 2008 to be rewarding and are looking forward to 2009!

Happy New Year all~~

35 Weeks...

Just a belly pic update..you've already read all my whining...

A little better...

Sometimes all you need is a hot bath and a vicodin to make everything better...

Nesting? Or just plain Hungry?

My plan of action today was to make a couple of meals that I could freeze for when I come home with the new baby. I had hoped to get through at least 2 meals today, Stuffed peppers and Eggplant Parm...well I made it through 1, the peppers.

My back is hurting so terribly bad today. It feels like menstrual cramps. Just aches to move, never mind stand around cooking. I just took a few tylenol to see if they help, if not the vicodin are getting tapped. In the mean time I figured I would post a few pics of my peppers in progress for you....

Boil the peppers in one pot and saute the onions, peppers and garlic in another...

...add the pork and turkey meat to the sauteed peppers, onion and garlic.....

....once browned add the rice.....

...and the crushed tomatoes and spices..........

.........either stuff the peppers whole or in half (when freezing I always cut the peppers in half, but when cooking for that day I leave them whole).......

Waa Laa...stuffed peppers! There is also a sauce that I make to pour over the peppers..but didn't make it in advance. It is real simple, crushed tom, veg oil, onion and garlic.. (The above made 4 of these containers for freezing!)

This past week all I can think about is food. I am hungry 24/7. I frigin ate an entire pizza on Tuesday night!! (I do not do that normally.) And when I woke up Wed I was starving again.

I am hoping my back feels better soon, I would really like to get the eggplant done today...

Couple more rug pics...

Here are a few pics of some of the other rugs we have in our house that T's Mom made....

This used to be my favorite one...still a very close second though. We have this one in front of the fire place.

The rest are all in the baby's room on the floor..in front crib, changing table, closet opening, etc...

Ahhh...the day after...

...I love Christmas. Next to Thanksgiving it is my favorite Holiday. I am still that little girl that wakes up at 5am and 6 am and 7am...wanting (needing) to open presents. T will not budge until 9am at the earliest (oh is that about to change in the next couple years) so I usually force myself to lay in bed for a little while but just get too antsy and wind up going to the living room to wait and wait and wait.

This year was a little different. There was no one item that I asked for that I "really" wanted so bad that it kept me awake at night. Additionally this year I had a little help from Ambien to sleep straight until 8am.

T and I had a nice small Christmas this year. Really working hard at being careful with our finances, we only got each other a couple small items. I got him a new Bathrobe, slippers, some shirts, Tom Petty documentary and an Infant Life Jacket. He got me some slipper socks (needed for my Hospital stay), a couple of CD's (Lucinda Williams and Kathleen Edwards), new calendar, gift card to Sears (for nite gowns-also needed for hospital) and the Sex and the City movie (extended version!).

After opening gifts at home, having some coffee and watching a Christmas Story at least 6 different times during the previous 18 hours (I love TBS for playing this movie for 24 hrs straight!) we headed over to T's Mom's for the day..She always treats us well on Christmas. Anything we ask for we get. We do make sure not to go over board, but there have been times that there is something we REALLY want and she's good at granting our wish.

This year for Christmas all I asked her for was a rug...you see she is retired and spends most of her time hooking rugs. She makes beautiful rugs. The walls and floors in her house have loads of her pieces covering the surfaces. In our house we have several small rugs scattered through out the house as well as quite a few in the babies room now....back to the rug I wanted..About a year or two ago she began to make this rug, it was a Frog sitting on a snail shell. She completed the center and it was vibrant and gorgeous. I made it known that that rug would look GREAT in my home...to no avail, she stopped working on it.

When we announced to her that we were pregnant I made it known again but a little different this time...that her Grandchild would LOVE that rug hanging on his or her wall.....hint hint hint. At my baby shower she gave me a rug that she hooked about 12 years ago with teddy bears on it (again beautiful) but it was not the Frog rug. So I dropped my last hint....I WANT THAT RUG!!!!

Well I got my rug! What do you think?

It will hang on the wall above the crib....Yeah!! By far my FAVORITE gift I got. She also gave me a bag filled with handmade sweaters, socks and hats for the baby. All really nice. One set may be the coming home outfit...we'll see.

T also got a rug this year (we both usually get one). His was a total shock to him. I knew she was making it, but had only seen the drawing on the canvas. I had not seen any of the work once it began....it is a portrait of him.

She hasn't completed the edges yet. I have to bring it back to her so she can complete it. She is using it in an art show in early January. I told her to put the picture she drew it from next to it...It is really awesome in person. You can see the textures in the face and hands. Just amazing.

Between her art abilities and T's musical abilities, I really hope our kids gets one or both...

What was your favorite gift this Holiday?

Quick Preggo update...

Just a quick update...

I have less than 6 weeks remaining until my due date arrives. Of course I could easily remain preggo for another 8 weeks..or I could have a baby in 4...it all depends on when this little bugger is ready to exit my dark warm womb.

I am presently in my 34th week. I have gained 24 lbs (I am very pleased with this number). Per my appt yesterday I am measuring 2 weeks behind, but the doctor is not concerned with that. She says the baby remains in a head down position and is not beginning to lower just yet.

She gave me a full script of ambien to help with my sleeping. I discussed some of the newer aches/pains I have been experiencing, but all are normal, so again nothing to be concerned with.

I really can't complain much. I mean I am uncomfortable, but that is a part of this journey. I have had no swelling, very little back pains, and just common other ailments. I have had to limit the items/weights I lift because I have found that when I lift things over 10lbs it is causing this really bad pain in my belly. Other than that I go about my business....

So that is my utterly boring update for this week...my next Dr. appt is 1/5/09 and then I start going every week.......only 12 more days of work!!!!!

Ice Bullets...

It drives me crazy when people do not clean off the tops of their cars after a snow or ice storm. They have no regard for the vehicles behind them as the sheets of ice and frozen solid snow is breaking away from their rooftops and flying at 70 miles per hour at my windshield!

This really aggravated me yesterday as I drove into work after we had 2 pretty large snow storms (I have about 18 inches of snow) during the weekend. There were literally 18 inch high, 12 inch square (and larger) blocks of hard snow and ice flying off of vehicles into my car and windshield. The roads were too slippery to attempt to swerve so I pretty much just closed my eyes each time (yes...closed my eyes while driving 60-70 on the highway) hoping that when the glass shattered it wouldn't go in my eyes.

This morning was not much better. The remaining snow on cars was truly in ice formation now (seeing as though our current temp is like 12 degrees). Causing even more concern when the chunks were flying at me..

Please Please Please clean off the tops of your cars when they get covered in snow, I beg of you.

1st major snow storm for the season...

..is upon us right now. Storm "Austin"...funny that name makes me think of warm weather not snow. It is expected to drop 9-12 inches on us by tonight.

It started snowing at my house at 1:00pm (actually it was 12:52-but I decided to round up) and it is now 4:00. I would say we have at least 4.5-5.5 inches already. Now mind you I live near the shore so it is not as bad here as it is elsewhere in the state. I bet Chele has a good inch or more in her area....

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I stayed home today and worked from here. I think I am going to plan to do more "work from home" until the baby comes. The stress I am under in the office is a bit too much for me to handle right now.

I got up at 4am again (this was even after I took sleeping pills last night!). Logged into work by 4:30. Made a chili in the crock pot around 8:30. Then our network connections at work went a bit haywire around 9ish. I muddled through it for a while and finally decided to call it a day around 10:30. I mean I had already put in 74 hours this week...I think that it was reasonable for me to log off-don't you?

When T came home from work this afternoon, we laid down and napped for a while. I love days like this....When the weather is snowy or rainy and I have no where to be, with a fridge and cabinets filled with my favorite foods.

I'm going to go take some snowy pics now, and put some Hot Chocolate water on the stove...Mmmm hot chocolate and marshmallows, fire burning in the fireplace, and snow falling.....nice way to spend the night.

14 hours and counting...

That I have been working..it is 9:34pm and I am still at frigin work. WTF !

**updated 4:10am 12/18**

Make that 16 hours..drove home on totally icy roads as I was falling asleep...and was back up within 3 hours logged back into work because my mind is racing and I keep waking up dreaming about work.

I can not go out of work soon enough...I WILL be discussing this unhealthy cycle with my Dr. yet again....

LOSER!

So I left my house around 8:30 this morning to head into work....made it about 18 miles (30 mins) and went to get gas (my gas light was on) only to discover I left my frigin purse at home!

Turned myself around and crossed my fingers that the fumes I had left would get me home and then to a gas station..they did. But it sucked!

Finally made it in around 10:45....only to get slammed in the face with more and more crisis'....the next 16 days can not come fast enough.

New England weather....

...ahh the joys we face living here in NE. I live in CT and the state is pretty small, it takes about 3 hours to drive from South to North and maybe 4 hours to drive West to East (or opposite)...

Last night we had a "Snow Storm"..now what does that mean to you? Cause here in NE that means something white fell from the sky, it does not refer to what remains on the ground, which in my case, is approx 2 inches of solid ice. Depending where you live, you may have gotten 3 inches of powdery white snow or like me 2 inches of pure ice or further south and east and all rain.

When it snows a few inches I have no issues traveling my 43 mile one way commute to work. Granted it takes me closer to two hours rather than the normal one hour 10 mins...but I feel confident driving in the snow. Ice, sleet, freezing rain (which ever term suits you best) on the other hand...no way Jose. Especially now that I am mid way through my 8th month of pregnancy. No chance in hell I am risking my life or my baby's life for Insurance IT...screw that shit.

I am planning on working from home for most of this morning...sadly it won't be for the day. I will NEED to go into work at some point due to a critical call that came in yesterday afternoon....it never ends....oh wait~it will end for me in 16 days!

Meal time...

How many of you, eat dinner nightly at the table as a family? I suppose it does not pertain to those of you that are single and live alone...but think back to when you lived at home or with a partner...

I don't recall eating "family" dinners as a child other than Holidays or big events. When I met T I was SHOCKED that his family ALWAYS sat at the dinner table to eat dinner and share in conversation. And dinners in that household where not just chew and screw, they lasted hours upon hours. Just regular old day to day meals. I loved it.

When T and I moved into together initially we did this too, however I didn't cook much then (I was 17 when we got our 1st apt) so we migrated our way to the couch, eventually chucking the table to make room for the fish tanks...

In our 2nd apt we tried this a little more often, however it was an eat in kitchen, and I hated it in there, bright white cabinets, dirty white floors, fluorescent lights....yuck. We ate approx 3 meals a week in there, all others where eaten in the living room or T's room (he had his own "man cave" in our 2nd apt).

In our house....I love my kitchen, I love my dining room, I love all my rooms! We have moved back to the eat dinner at the table tradition. One that I hope to instill in our child. We dim the lights low, set the table nice, eat a hearty meal and then sit and talk. We don't talk for hours, but a good 20-30 mins after we eat we are still talking. It has been a great way for me to unwind lately, I've needed this time tremendously and he knows it.

Anyway....this was all leading somewhere..I usually whip together pretty basic meals during the week since I don't normally get home from work till around 7pm and really want to eat by 7:30 if at all possible, but on Sunday's I have been trying to make something a bit more substantial....something with a little heart. Especially as the weather gets colder and we are inside more..

Last weekend I made an AWESOME eggplant parm, chicken cutlets and Linguine with Pesto sauce.....

This past Sunday I made a Stuffed Roasted Chicken, carrots, potatoes and green beans....(sorry no pic of the chicken completely cooked looking succulent)

After dinner this Sunday night I made some GREAT cookies, Oatmeal, Cranberries and Chocolate chips....I was thinking a lot about Orly yesterday..not sure why, just was. And he always loved when I made those cookies...so I made him a batch and with every bite I thought of him more.

I am trying to cherish these meal times of just the two of us right now...I highly recommend this tradition in your own homes...

Under 50.....

...days that is!


I officially have 48 days left (of course that is really all up to the baby)! The even better part is I only have 17 more days to work! And if we face any crappy weather in those 17 days I will work from home which to me is like a day off since the stress level at my home is non existent.


At 33 weeks I am feeling (and looking) huge...uncomfortable....achy....but who is complaining? Not I.


(sorry this pic is so crappy...my camera battery was really low when I took it)

Quick update...

We are having home computer issues so I was unable to post my 33Wk picture as well as the post that I am working on about Family Dinners....They require photos to be uploaded and when I try to load them to my work lap top my camera software is blocked... Damn big brother!

Once T can resolve the issues I'll have some updates..

Tag

Tag-a-Roo

I've been tagged by Elana

The rules are:1. Link to the person who tagged you.

2. Share 7 random and/or weird facts about you.

3. Tag 7 random people at the end, and include links to their blogs (I won;t be tagging anyone..but feel free to participate if you'd like).


1. I have a beauty mark the size of a kidney bean on my upper left thigh

2. I have never lived anywhere other than the State I was born in

3. My favorite sound is T playing guitar and singing

4. I am a shoe addict (could care less about purses...but LOVE shoes)

5. I love the smell and look of fire. If I could have fire around all the time I would be happy

6. I can not imagine living anywhere that was not within 30 minutes to the ocean. I am at most peace when I am on the water...(ocean or fresh water)

7. I can crack pretty much any bone in my body. It totally grosses T out....neck, back, fingers, knees....

Eager Beaver invasion...

I am interested in your opinions on this one...

I have been discussing with T that when the time comes for me to be in labor I want NO ONE told (other than the Dr. of course).

I don't want any calls made to his Mom, my Sister, my Mom or Dad, friends....The fact of the matter is I could easily "go into labor" numerous times. This is our first and chances are high that I will have a false alarm or two. Even if the one and only time we make our trip to the hospital it is the real deal, I do not want a waiting room of anxious people sitting there for hours upon hours...that is a lot of pressure on me. No one other than T will be with me when I deliver anyway, I am adamant about that one. I DO NOT want an audience.

The other part is that once the baby is here, I want us to have our chance to be alone with him/her without the eager beavers wanting to get their hands on it. My thoughts are that once the baby is here, and we have had our chance to meet him/her, name him/her, inspect every finger and toe, get all the after birth items taken care of (apgar, shots, eye meds, etc)...then we can make the calls.

It is selfish, I know, but I have never said I was not selfish. That is the main reason we chose to not have kids all this time, because we are selfish people.

My thoughts were reinforced last night as we were in our last New Born care class. There was a waiting room filled with family members of an expectant couple. They all looked bored out of their minds and eager for updates. All I could think about was that poor laboring Mom and Dad in their birthing room. The pressure they must be feeling to keep updating these people and know that the second that baby comes out they will be invading their space.

What are your thoughts on this?

What a waste....

...of a weekend.

I had to work on Saturday, we had a production release. If you don't work in IT, then just look at it like it is a day of torture....

Back in the day, when we had a production release, all QA and Developer staff would drag their tired sorry asses into work at 6am and our systems would be up and ready for us to test our changes early enough to have a stable environment before our call center reps were in the office to process work (I work in Insurance IT and we have call center reps that answer calls)...like I said this was "back in the day".

Over the past few years the staff still drags themselves in at 6am, only to have our systems not available until 7 or 8 and then of course the vultures stand over the QA staff looking for system stability.

In the past several months we have been moving our releases to Saturdays. Primarily because our systems have become so complex that the risk associated with releasing on a busy weekday is too high. This method SUCKS!

I was in the office by 5am (est) Saturday, our systems were supposed to be available at 5am so my offshore (India-3:30pm) staff could begin testing.......the systems are not up. 6am my onsite staff arrives in the office still no eta......7am eta 9am......9am still not up........9:40 Systems up Systems up!!!! Oh wait, system errors for every app! 10:30am they think they know the issue and will have it ready in 15 minutes......11:30 they still think they know the issue and again say 15 mins........12:30 we still have no systems to test (mind you it is now 11pm in India)...........1:22pm (midnight in India) the systems are FINALLY up for us to test...........4:45pm (2:15am India) my last Indian staff leaves the office...............5:50pm myself and my last onsite staff leave the office. We have issues in the production environment which will require some staff to work again Sunday.....

Sunday morning 7am onsite staff is ready to test.....ooops maybe someone should have told us the systems are not up until 8am on Sundays. It is now 8:37am and I have people working again today and I am calling in for status update meetings every 2 hours.....I had to call one of my staff this morning and ask her to go into the office and when I did she cried, totally broke down on me. Myself and my staff are so burnt out...

I have slept a total of (if I am lucky) 6 hours over the past two nights. I am cranky, irritable, and sore. I can't stop crying and all I want to do is curl up and close off the rest of the world.

Have I ever mentioned how much I dislike my job these days?

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On another topic, I received a phone call from one of my MIL friends last night around 9pm. One of their friends sons (22 years old) was stabbed to death outside a night club early Saturday morning. He was certainly a troubled kid, always in trouble and a heavy drinker...but sad that he is now dead. Not sure what this will do to his mother. My MIL is like a surrogate mother to her, so hopefully she will be able to help her through it.

Congrats on your BFP!!

April and Daryl!

After many months of frustrating BFN's you got your POSITIVE!

Silver bells, silver bells, soon it will...

..be Christmas day....

I kept it simple this year. As I put up the tree this weekend it hit me that I will need to take it down and put away all the xmas stuff in early to mid Jan when I will be SO ready to have a baby. So I chose to keep it simple..a little garland over the fireplace, only the large glass balls on the tree, and lights in the windows. No Nutcrackers, No carollers, No mistletoe, No outdoors lights and only 2 boxes of ornaments instead of 8.

Kind of a bummer, but it still looks pretty and makes me happy when I pull into the driveway and see into my front window......

Randoms

Several times people come up with witty questions to ask to get to know their readers...here is my version....

1. Ever been out of the US? (If Yes-where?)
2. When Men wear socks with shorts, should they be pulled up or scrunched down?
3. Xmas tree...real or fake?
4. Any Tattoos? (If yes-details...)
5. How many miles to you drive to work?
6. What is your middle name? (any significance to it?)
7. Bathroom-do you "go" with the door open when someone else is home?
8. Toilet paper-over hang or under hang?
9. When wet..do you comb your hair or brush your hair?
10. Favorite weekend outfit.

Day 217....

...63 days to go. I am 31 Weeks today (well Sunday).

So far I have been pregnant approx 217 days and have around 61 days remaining. Or to simplify matters...around 9 weeks remaining. But the REALLY simple math is only 29 days of work remaining (and I still have a personal day to use!)