clumps....

...of hair are everywhere I look. I had read about it, I had nightmares about it, and now it is coming true. I am losing my hair in large quantities. My bathroom floor is covered in my hair. baby K keeps getting a fist full, my comb in the morning looks as though I am undergoing chemo....My hair is so thin to begin with, I am not sure my head will survive this. The "post partum hair loss"....


On the topic of post partum, I am fairly certain I have a bit of PPD (post partum depression). It's not horrible and I am able to recognize it. Both are good. I mean it's not good that I feel depressed, but it is good that I feel it is controllable and that I am aware of it. I am keeping an eye on it, and I have advised T that I am sad, so he also is watching me for drastic changes. I am just really depressed about work, and the fact that I have to leave baby K every morning just as she wakes up and barely make it home in time to put her to bed. I am jealous of T, because he gets to spend 3 days a week with her...playing, cuddling, watching her grow and explore and discover new things.


She is 3months old today and I don't have a picture of her to memorialize this day....my camera card has been full for days and I have not had the time to load the pics to my camera and clear my card. I finally did it tonight, but she is asleep. I guess I'll go into her room and take some sleeping pics.


I hate that the only time I get to spend with her is bath and bed time. Both are times that she is not very social because she is exhausted.


Tomorrow is Saturday, Our day, just Mommy and Kira....not this week though. I have to work tomorrow. A work day that should be only a couple of hours, but it won't be. I can feel it in my bones..I'll be there all damn day. Meanwhile T will get to spend the morning with her and my sister the afternoon. I am crossing my fingers that I get to spend Sunday, my first Mother's day, with her. Hopefully nothing crazy happens to requires me to work on Sunday....

In case I don't get back on here before then....Happy Mother's day to all of you wonderful women.....whether you are a Mommy to a child, or a cat, or dog, or birds....or any combination...Happy Mom day to you!!