I saw you on Sunday. You walked through the doors and I was faced with confrontation. Not bad confrontation, but awkward is more like it. You had your daughters with you and were with an older man, though when you saw us you pushed him off to the side.
Every time I see you, I miss you more. It breaks my heart that we can not be like we were once. It breaks it even more to know that you threw so much away for a relationship, a marriage, that is over.
In the process of becoming secluded and secretive with your "soul mate" you pushed everyone in your life away. You gave up on true friendship. Now that you are no longer a couple you both expect to go back to the way it was. It will never, can never, be the way it was.
He called me several months ago and I had to confront it. I was so strong to say to say all that I needed to yet in the end I was left feeling drained and weak. The way I always felt at the end our our relationship. The reason why we are no more the best friends we were meant to be.
Before parting way this time you asked for hug. I did not want to hug you. I knew it would hurt too bad. And it did. It caused me to hurt now for days. The pain of letting you go again is sometimes too much to bare.
Seeing you is like seeing an ex for me. I think f the happy times, the sad times, the memories we will never make.
5 comments:
Yuck:( I think some icecream is in store for such emotions.
I have a dear friend I am estranged from at the moment and you are so right, it's like dealing with an ex. Sad and awkward, mostly bittersweet.
This whole situation is very sad and very awkward. Sorry you miss your friend, but it doesn't sound like it was good for you...
My HS best friend and I broke up about 8 years ago. She and I were dating best friends, and once he and I broke up she was a bit "conflicted", in my opinion, of where here loyalties should be. I didn't want to compromise her relationship with her boyfriend, but I didn't appreciate her dishing out the details of my recovery and dating sagas thereafter. So we broke up. I saw her last year at our HS reunion. Awkward-YES! But I realized I missed her. Only the old her, not the new her...so we are still broken up.
One of my friends and I had a sort of falling out recently and didn't speak for almost a year (this has happened before in teh past too with the same friend) and seeing her at Target during Christmas time was THE MOST awkward moment ever. And like you, it hurt me for days. But thankfully, our falling out was sorta minimal and we were able to get past it...so I can understand the pain you must be feeling. :-( Grief over the loss of a frienship, much like that of an ex! :-(
Post a Comment