Pit in my soul...

We had these friends once, our very best friends. I think I have mentioned their story on here before.....it's long, exhausting, and filled with drama. Bottom line we had these friends, they were each our best friends (she mine, he T's), they hooked up, got married, and we "broke up" with them. We had to. The drama that their relationship caused was too much for T and I. If we were to survive we needed to cut these people, our best friends, out of our lives.

The awkward part of the situation as it stands now is that we do run into them on occasion. At local fairs, the grocery store, and now they have moved to our town. The guy calls every 8 months or so and talks to T for a few minutes. Anytime we encounter them we always make sure to keep it brief and pretty impersonal, but are never rude, after all they were our best friends once, we DO still care about them, we just choose to not have them in our lives any longer. We never wanted to hurt them by being rude.

We heard a few months ago that they were splitting up. That she had "stepped outside" the marriage. They abandoned their home and moved to separate residences. Then we heard that they were back together and trying to work it out....in their newly rented home in my town. I ran into her after that and learned where they live. I did not mention that I was aware of the split or any other background I was aware of.

Today my phone rang and when I answered it it was the guy. He started asking how I was, how Little K was, was looking to talk to T but T is away still. I explained that he would be back tomorrow and he could call him Sunday. He began to share about how he had been suffering from anxiety issues for the past couple of years and how he had one more issue to overcome and would T or I take him out on our boat to overcome his anxiety of lack of control.

This was it for me, I broke, not snapped, broke. I explained to him that the drama they as a couple brought into our lives nearly tore us apart. Nearly ended our relationship because it tore at us so badly. I explained that the dynamics of our relationships changed dramatically - instantly, when the two of them became one. That I could not open the door to letting them back into our lives.

I apologized, and explained that I was not trying to be rude, but that clearly I needed to put it all out on the table. I needed to make sure he understood how they alienated everyone in their lives and now they had no one left, not even each other (they split up again). This crushed me to say, I was sobbing. Home alone with little K, sobbing. I so needed T.

He thanked me for being honest. And promised to never "bother" us again. Please don't make this be the thing that breaks him. If he does anything crazy I would feel so guilty. I have a pit in my soul now.