Ughhh where to begin....
- K doesn't shut up. I don't have a clue what she says 60% of the time and am amazed at the 40% I do know. If we try to have a conversation with anyone other than her she sits there and says "mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy" over and over in this nail on a chalk board kind of a way. While I love hearing her speak, and get great joy out of what she says, the whinny shit drives me bananas!
- I am working so much right now. I am pretty much doing this totally other job AND my real job. It is so stressful because I am allocated 200%. I hope that when we do move forward with this outsourcing initiative I remain doing the new stuff. It is much more exciting and I can totally do it from home full time.
- I think I need to put K in daycare. It pains me. On many levels. Financially is the biggest one. But also, T staying home with her full time is beginning to impact my marriage. I hate to admit, but we are not in a good place. We are not in a bad place either. Just not in the "right" place. He is depressed, stuck in the house, can't get out fishing, etc...I am depressed, over the want for another child and a husband that can't see eye to eye with me. I come home from work and cook and clean, bathe her put her to bed and he leaves. Off to his friends house. I believe him. I don't think he is screwing around. But it hurts that he can't stay home with me, that after being away from each other all day he wants to get out to hang with his friend.
- He had a friend die this week. That is affecting him too. Putting him in a dark place where he won't talk or connect. That doesn't help matters any.
- I am overwhelmed in life right now. Too many plans. Too many fears. Too many what if moments. Not a happy time. But then I look at my child and know that she will always be worth everything I do.
- Our tag sale was ok. A lot of work for not a huge amount of cash in the end. And true to Murphy's law, we sold our spare TV to our neighbor for $5 (actually we traded a ladder for the TV) and then Wednesday night my bedroom TV's picture tube blew. Mother F*. So now I need to go spend several hundred dollars on a new TV for my bedroom.
- For a short week of work, it has been a long week and I have to work tomorrow. This week though, I am only working until the morning of Thursday and then I am off until June 20! I am So looking forward to a week off. I have my class reunion and my BFF's wedding during that week. So there will be lots to do, but no work!
Sorry my leftovers are a drag this week. Just haven't been in a writing/sharing mood~
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5 comments:
I totally know what you mean about the not shutting up part..good thing they are so damn cute. :)
Oh, hugs, I don't like this post at all. Maybe the hubby is going to the friend's house due to the other friend dying? But, I know it would upset me if he left all the time.
Don't buy a tv for the bedroom. We had one for years in our bedroom, but since moving we took it out and plan to keep it out.
Oh no, I'm so sorry life has been so shitty for you lately! :-( Wanna hang out next Saturday? I'm dying to get the kids together. Do you have to work? If not, maybe you and K can come over the big kids can play and the mommies can have coffee (while Avery naps LOL)???
I'm so things are in a tough spot right now. Being overwhelmed is such a hard feeling to deal with, at least for me. I hope you are able to find some peace soon. Hugs, Mama.
Phew...this is kind of rough. I'm very sorry for your husband's loss. I really think it throws them for a loop big time.
Is there any chance of some therapy to work through some of this stuff? A lot of what you're dealing with is huge issues and the human soul isn't prepared to deal with these things alone...I think we need guidance from an objective source sometimes.
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