I stood there today, washing my hands, and looking into the painted glass that hung on the wall before me. There was this woman staring back at me. Her skin looked tired. Her eyes had circles. Her hair was sparkling like tinsel on the christmas tree. When I looked real close, made eye contact with her, I realized she was me.
I am old enough to reflect back on an event that was 20 years ago. Two decades. This really hit me today. Hard.
Today marks the 20th anniversary of the most traumatic event of my life (hopefully). Two decades since my best friend died. Two decades since my entire future began to form. Two decades of memories fading.
This date has been monumentus for me each and every year since. Today was different. I went through my entire day not knowing the date at all. And then it hit me. How did I forget? Is is fading away entirely?
20 years. Two decades.
3 comments:
i'm so sorry for your loss karianne. don't beat your self up for (briefly) losing the date. death happens, but so does life, & i don't think you should ever feel guilty for living your life. after "knowing" you now for several years, i know that you remember your friend throughout the year, not only on this one day. you haven't forgotten-- you've just been busy living. ((hugs))
One thing I've learned with the death of my father, is that i don't want to focus so much on teh day he DIED. Instead I want to focus on his LIFE and the days he lived (ie like his birthday, where I sing to him). Don't feel bad for forgetting the day. It doesn't mean you have forgotten your FRIEND.
It comes out of nowhere, right? You should write about your friend...even if you do it privately, it does help.
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