K is in a terribly rotten phase. She is just plain defiant and rotten. Se looks at you with this evil eye and laughs a demonic laugh. She is misbehaved at completely the worse times.
Today, being Tuesday, I worked from home. Now I should note that T is here at least 90% of the time if not 100% when I work from home. Every time the phone rang she was on me. Wining, crying, screaming a piercing scream. Always with the "i want i want i want" and of course I am trying to conduct business so I give her what she wants. I found myself snapping at her (and T) on more than one occasion today.
Tonight I took her to go out for dinner with my friend I mentioned a few posts ago, that is due to have a baby this month, and she was so terribly rotten in the restaurant. She was kicking, she was screaming that piercing scream, she was yelling "go bye bye in car!" over and over again. I finally had my food wrapped up and left.
I was so embarressed by her behavior. I was embarrassed that I was unable to "control" her. I was one of "those" parents with one of "those" kids. My friend is in for a wake up call. You could see on her face that she was mortified by the situation and was having the internal conversation of "I will never let my child behave that way", you know..the one we have all had when our friends (or strangers) kids behaved like that. Except this time I was on the other side of it.
How do you handle this situation? You can't spank children in public without being thrown into shackles and locked away for years. You can't reason with a 2 year old. I can't continue to pack up my food and leave a dinner out with friends, because at this rate I won't have friends that want to have dinner with me.
7 comments:
First, the good news this is perfectly normal. The bad news, It will probably last until she is almost 4.
You mentioned the other day your discussion with T regarding the "warnings". This is the key to changing the current behavior. The most important thing is that she learns you mean it. Stay calm. Give one warning "If you do that again, we are leaving." When she does it, apologize to the other person you are with, and leave. I've left entire full carriages at the service window at the grocery store with an apology. I've dropped a $20 on the table when out and walked out. It takes a few times, but eventually it sinks in. And T needs to be consistent as well. Otherwise she will learn there is a weak link. K is a very smart cookie like her Mom. She'll get it. And when you want to scream and cry, pick up the phone. I've been there and am here ;-)
I agree with the above comment...Personally I thought 3 was way, way worse than 2 because Elizabeth knew when I was distracted and that would set her off...
I'm the same way, I give her a warning and if she doesn't listen, it's time out no matter where we are (target or another store) and if she starts the screaming game I just pick her up and we're out.
two weeks ago at story time E would not listen to me. At all. She had 2 opportunities to try and behave better and she didn't. Then the tears and screaming started. I hauled my butt over to her, picked her up, grabbed her things and we were out. I refuse to let her be the 'naughty, loud kid' in story time.
Sorry for the long comment. In short, I don't think you're doing anything wrong at all. It's them growing up... :)
I have mixed feelings about leaving. I have left when things have gotten too uncomfortable when out (which is rare) but I'm also not willing to ruin my time out because of one of my children misbehaving. If they are acting out all day, then we definitely don't go anywhere with them later in the day because we just know it will end in a disaster.
There are no right and wrong answers and every child is different. You are doing great, momma, and always remember that.
I don't think you are doing anything wrong at all! I keep hearing from ALL my friends lately (as I cry in their ears) that it's the age for sure. Hunter has entered the "Terrible Two's" much earlier (god I hope this means he FINISHS it earlier and that it just doesn't last forever! LOL) and thank GOD most of the time the tantrums all happen at home. I've started counting "1-2-3" and he knows now when we get to 3, if he is still doing the bad behavoir we will get up and redirect him OR tap his hiney (which I'm not sure if I'd do that when out? Hmmmmm...) so now he has been stopping it by the count of 2. But he is SO bratty now...he knows when I'm nursing/busy and can't jump up and that's when he especially does soemthing bad and often times looks back at me with that look in his eyes, like, "Go ahead and yell at me, I'm gonna d it anyway." and often times when I yell at him, he laughs at me!!
I definitely think they go through phases. We are just coming out of a bad period with lots of misbehavior. For both girls, there have been times when we haven't been able to do much of anything with them in public because of their behavior.
In other words, it's not us... it's them :)
I can't remember what your normal discipline is, but have you tried a time-out in the restaurant? I gave Hailey a t.o. in the grocery store one time (I was close enough to see her, but she stood away from us) and it really hit home.
In terms of the eating out...what if you just took HER to a restaurant with you and talked about/modeled what is appropriate and what is not? I don't think you need to stop eating out, but maybe she just needs some "training."
Also, have you read 1-2-3 Magic? It has helped us a lot.
This parenting crap is hard, isn't it??? I'm with Danifred...it's them!
I don't think you're doing anything wrong at all! I totally see this age as being a tough one because it's very difficult to reason with them. And in a restaurant, their attention span is just not long enough for us to be social like we want to, ya know. Our currently dinner's now are buffet style (so they can start eating immediately) and places with play places (like Chick Fil A)....exciting dinners right? LOL!
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