connections

My kids, I want them to have connections. Connections to family, Aunts, Uncles, Cousins....during my life I had a couple connections to family. I was always close to my Grandma (dad's mom), and Aunt S (his sister), but that has pretty much been it.  Now let me explain that I have a large, actually quite large, of a family.  On my dad's side (immediate) I have a living Granddad and Grandmom (step), 2 aunts, 3 uncles, 8 cousins...I am in "regular" as in monthly contact with 1 Aunt. Maybe once every three or four months with the Grandparenrs, and otherwise FB friends with some of the others.

On my Mom's side there are zero Grandparent's, 4 uncles, 3 Aunts, 9 (+) cousins, with regular contact only with 1 Aunt that I have never met. Semi regular, as in once every few months via email with an Uncle's wife.

Today we spent the day with one of my uncle's and cousin's on Mom's side. Said cousin and I tried to connect several years ago but his drinking problems got in the way.

He's been sober (per his own admittiion) for 4 years now.  He has a son that is 2. He is a doll. I would
love for our kids to grow up together, just as we did, but he and I, we had a bad experience when he
was drinking.

I have made a couple of efforts to connect with him again though. Extended invites to him to a pumpkin patch, to a childrens museum, things like that. You know, to get the kids together. Once he came and brought along his cougar girlfriend.  Don't get me wrong age is no factor here. but the point was for he and i to get together with our kids.

I am the kind of a person that will make numerous efforts at trying, but there comes a point when you either continue forward with a connection or you walk away, knowing, or hoping, that our kids aren't the ones that are going to lose out from me walking away.

The thing is, you hear all the time "you can't choose your fanily"...this is how you "can" choose them!!